The Simplicity of Discipline

The clients I work with almost all put incredible expectations on themselves — they have higher standards than almost anybody I know. It’s why they work with me.

It can be hard to see, but the expectations they’ve set for themselves often stand in the way of what they want the most. It’s hard to see because they became successful because of those expectations. It’s what got them this far.

But after a certain point, the expectations become the anchor, not the engine. The breakthrough to the next level for many of us who perform at high levels — and actually for people of all kinds — is to let go of all expectations.

Tony Robbins is famous for saying, “Turn your expectations … into appreciation.” It’s a beautiful saying and helps us to start to see where expectations are getting in the way.

Let’s take a look.

Expectations Often Only Seem to Help

I know lots of people who improved their lives because they had an expectation that they should be better.

“I should be in better shape. I should have a better job. I should be more productive. I should be more disciplined. I should be more mindful. I should eat healthier.”

I know these expectations well — that was me at the start of my journey. It’s how almost all of us start out. We take these expectations and turn them into action. “OK, it’s finally time to get off my butt and do something about this problem!”

And that’s when change starts to happen — when we’ve motivated ourselves to start.

So, expectations can seem like they’re doing a lot of work because they’re the things that got us to start.

But then they start getting in the way:

• I expected to be great at this habit after a few days, but a week into it and I still suck at it
• I expected to be perfect at this habit but I’m still struggling
• I expected to keep my streak going past 2 weeks but then I missed a day
• I expected to really enjoy yoga or meditation but it’s way harder than I thought
• This doesn’t meet my expectations, so it sucks (can’t appreciate it)
• I’m so focused on how I want things to turn out (expectations) that I miss the beauty of what’s happening in this moment

And so on.

The expectations actually hold us back from the simplicity of discipline.

Discipline gets easier without the expectations attached

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