There was a time when I was overweight but didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t feel in control of my health, because I couldn’t quit smoking or eat healthier for longer than a few days, or exercise regularly.
Thinking about my weight made me feel horrible, so I didn’t want to even think about it.
Of course, not thinking about it meant I never did anything about it. Not facing my problems made it worse, which just made me feel worse. It was a downward spiral, and really hard to stop.
I had the same downward spiral when I was in debt (at the same time in my life, about 8 years ago). I couldn’t pay all my bills, so I would stuff them in a drawer so I didn’t have to see them. I had creditors calling me but I didn’t answer their calls (I knew their numbers on the caller ID). I didn’t know how much debt I was in because I never wanted to open the envelopes, much less add it all up on paper. I’d borrow money to pay bills, then owe more. And I’d skip paying lots of bills, and accrue interest.
It wasn’t a smart way to manage my finances, but I couldn’t stand the thought of facing all of it. I felt bad even thinking about my finances, so I’d avoid them, and think about other things. Of course, this led to me seeking distraction in food and entertainment and shopping, which led to worse debt.
Not facing my debt made it worse.
How did I overcome all of this? I’ll share it here, in hopes that it will help others facing the same problem—or not facing it.
It’s also important to note that if you know someone in bad health (or bad financial shape), they are probably also in denial. They don’t want to even talk about it. How do you help them? I’ll share that below too.
How I Finally Faced Things
How do you face a problem so you can work on it when you don’t want to face it?
There has to be a point when you say, “This isn’t good. I need to do something about it.”
In truth, there usually isn’t just one point—there are many. It’s a building problem, where you get many data points over time—you see yourself in a picture and don’t like how heavy you look, you get a comment from someone that’s less than flattering, your pants don’t fit anymore, or you breathe heavily when you try to run for a couple of minutes.
But then there has to be a point where you decide that enough is enough. You start to feel some resolve. You decide you can do something—it’s not insurmountable.
How exactly I got to that point, I can’t fully remember; but I do know that there were several things that helped me:
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