I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot recently. In fact, I’ve kind of been thinking about it for the past few years after realizing that I had made this mistake with a really great girl. My actions thereafter meant that I had learnt my lesson and would never do it again. However, it’s only in the last few months that I have really broke it down into its fundamentals. Time to share it.
When you really like someone, you will do anything to get them. Once you do get them you will do anything you can to keep them. In the case of something longer term, their happiness becomes paramount to you and at all costs you will endeavor to keep them happy.
I’m not talking about letting her have the last piece of chocolate. What I’m talking about is that every time you push yourself beyond your better judgment in an attempt to please her, you are really pushing her further away from you.
LOSING HER RESPECT
Every time you cancel on a friend because of her, buy her something after an argument, or agree that something she is doing is right when in reality it’s wrong; part of you starts to resent her and you lose respect for yourself, and part of her starts to lose respect for you … and faith in you. If you are going to go against your better judgment, regardless of the reason why, then she cannot fully trust you or feel safe with you.
The ultimate result is a concoction of irony and paradoxes that used to put the most nauseating feeling in my AFC stomach. Her lack of respect for you, even though you are doing everything to please her, culminates in a lack of confidence in you — which leads to her not trusting you.
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